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BI VISIBILITY DAY | Being bi, labels + book recommendations


Hoohoo, lovelies!

It’s the 23rd of September which means it’s Bi Visibility Day! After I didn’t really do anything for bi week, I wanted to write a longer post for today. There is so much I have to say, so many thoughts and so many feelings and I just want to get them out there.

So first off, let’s talk about what Bi Visibility Day even is. This day is for recognizing and celebrating the bi community and our history. We need this day, because there are still so many stereotypes floating around, there is still so much biphobia, both outside of the community and inside it. Even for me, it took a long time to accept who I am.
This day is also called Bisexual Pride Day or Bisexual Visibility Day.

Which brings me to my next thought. Labels. I label myself as bisexual and biromantic. That means I’m romantically and sexually attracted to two or more genders.
For other people, being bi might mean something different. Some are biromantic but on the ace-spectrum, meaning that they are romantically attracted to two or more genders while having little to none sexual attraction. Or they’re bi while being on both the aro- and ace-spectrums. With attraction and being bi, there are endless possibilities. Everyone can choose for themselves what feels right for them. I found the labels that are right for me. While I do use bisexual and biromantic, or bi for short, I also identify myself as queer.
Maybe that is because I labeled myself as queer first. I remember walking through London with two close friends and saying “Hey, uh, I don’t think I’m straight. I’m queer.” It was the first time I spoke it out loud, that word. Queer.
It was only last year when I tried around which label fitted me and which I felt comfortable with that “bi” really stuck out to me. This might sound weird, but I felt deep down, like something pulling at me, that these labels felt right. I’m glad I found these labels that fit me, that I feel good with. It’s a process, in many cases a long one. Labels can change over time. And that’s okay because we as persons also change. We might come to different realizations than we did a few years ago, we might feel comfortable with other things or discover things about ourselves that were new to us.

Labeling is a very personal matter. Some people don’t even want to label themselves. Some people still search for their labels.
When it comes to the label “bisexual” I have mixed feelings. It is oftentimes used for both bisexual and biromantic, but those are different things. I mentioned that above. So while I actually am bisexual, I prefer the term “bi” to refer to all bi people, it’s much more inclusive than “bisexual”. I’m sure other people might view that differently but this is just my opinion.

But no matter how we label ourselves, all of those labels are valid. They’re all good, as long as you yourself feel comfortable with them.

Being bi means a lot to me. I usually think “oh, it’s my sexuality but it’s not that big of a thing. It’s who I am.” But then, isn’t my sexuality a huge part of me?
So far, I’ve dated only one gender. I’m in a longterm relationship with a person of that gender. That does not make me any less bi. But I have to continously tell myself that. There are people who say “you’ve only dated one gender, you must be hetero” and there’s always this voice of doubt in my head, telling me the very same thing.

And then I’m sitting there, telling myself “I’m bi enough. I’m bi enough. I’m bi enough.” Because I am. If I had dated only women, I’d still be bi. If I’d only dated people who identify with a gender out of the gender binary, I’d still be bi. I’m bi. No matter what anyone says, no matter what that ugly voice says, I’m bi and I’m valid. And if you feel the same sometimes or people tell you those things? You, too, are bi enough. You are valid and you don’t have to prove anything to anyone. As hard as it might be to accept that soemtimes and to overcome the own inner biphobia, this is a fact. You’re bi. Period.

Because I am a person who doubts herself a lot, this doubt in my own sexuality is also very present within me. I try to not make being bi a huge thing for me, but it is. It’s who I am. I won’t let me take that away from me. And because there is so much doubt, within me, within the bi community but also within the entire queer community, we need the Bi Visibility Day. Of course, cis hetero people also doubt us, but it’s the biphobia and the doubt within the community that should have your back, that’s all the more painful. We need this day to show ourselves but also everyone else that we’re here. That we’re loud and proud and our feelings are valid. We’re here to be seen, to be recognized and to be accepted.

Especially by ourselves.

Now, that I have said some personal things, I’d like to give some recommendations for books with bi protagonists. If there are any books you absolutely loved, please tell me so I can read them all!

lucky girlLucky Girl by Jamie Pacton
bi MC, Korean-American side character

58,642,129. That’s how many dollars seventeen-year-old Fortuna Jane Belleweather just won in the lotto jackpot. It’s also about how many reasons she has for not coming forward to claim her prize.
Problem #1: Jane is still a minor, and if anyone discovers she bought the ticket underage, she’ll either have to forfeit the ticket, or worse . . .
Problem #2: Let her hoarder mother cash it. The last thing Jane’s mom needs is millions of dollars to buy more junk. Then . . .
Problem #3: Jane’s best friend, aspiring journalist Brandon Kim, declares on the news that he’s going to find the lucky winner. It’s one thing to keep her secret from the town — it’s another thing entirely to lie to her best friend. Especially when . . .
Problem #4: Jane’s ex-boyfriend, Holden, is suddenly back in her life, and he has big ideas about what he’d do with the prize money. As suspicion and jealousy turn neighbor against neighbor, and no good options for cashing the ticket come forward, Jane begins to wonder: Could this much money actually be a bad thing.

the brightsidersThe Brightsiders by Jen Wilde
bi MC, genderqueer LI, queer side character

As a rock star drummer in the hit band The Brightsiders, Emmy King’s life should be perfect. But there’s nothing the paparazzi love more than watching a celebrity crash and burn. When a night of partying lands Emmy in hospital and her girlfriend in jail, she’s branded the latest tabloid train wreck.
Luckily, Emmy has her friends and bandmates, including the super-swoonworthy Alfie, to help her pick up the pieces of her life. She knows hooking up with a band member is exactly the kind of trouble she should be avoiding, and yet Emmy and Alfie Just. Keep. Kissing.
Will the inevitable fallout turn her into a clickbait scandal (again)? Or will she find the strength to stand on her own?

queens of geekQueens of Geek by Jen Wilde
bi MC, lesbian LI, social anxiety

Charlie likes to stand out. She’s a vlogger and actress promoting her first movie at SupaCon, and this is her chance to show fans she’s over her public breakup with co-star Reese Ryan. When internet-famous cool-girl actress Alyssa Huntington arrives as a surprise guest, it seems Charlie’s long-time crush on her isn’t as one-sided as she thought.
Taylor likes to blend in. Her brain is wired differently, making her fear change. And there’s one thing in her life she knows will never change: her friendship with her best guy friend Jamie—no matter how much she may secretly want it to. But when she hears about a fan contest for her favorite fandom, she starts to rethink her rules on playing it safe.

six of crowsSix Of Crows by Leigh Bardugo
two bisexual protagonists

Ketterdam: a bustling hub of international trade where anything can be had for the right price—and no one knows that better than criminal prodigy Kaz Brekker. Kaz is offered a chance at a deadly heist that could make him rich beyond his wildest dreams. But he can’t pull it off alone. . . .
A convict with a thirst for revenge
A sharpshooter who can’t walk away from a wager
A runaway with a privileged past
A spy known as the Wraith
A Heartrender using her magic to survive the slums
A thief with a gift for unlikely escapes
Kaz’s crew is the only thing that might stand between the world and destruction—if they don’t kill each other first.

down comes the nightDown Comes the Night by Allison Saft
bi MC, sapphic side character

Wren Southerland’s reckless use of magic has cost her everything: she’s been dismissed from the Queen’s Guard and separated from her best friend—the girl she loves. So when a letter arrives from a reclusive lord, asking Wren to come to his estate, Colwick Hall, to cure his servant from a mysterious illness, she seizes her chance to redeem herself.
The mansion is crumbling, icy winds haunt the caved-in halls, and her eccentric host forbids her from leaving her room after dark. Worse, Wren’s patient isn’t a servant at all but Hal Cavendish, the infamous Reaper of Vesria and her kingdom’s sworn enemy. Hal also came to Colwick Hall for redemption, but the secrets in the estate may lead to both of their deaths.
With sinister forces at work, Wren and Hal realize they’ll have to join together if they have any hope of saving their kingdoms. But as Wren circles closer to the nefarious truth behind Hal’s illness, they realize they have no escape from the monsters within the mansion. All they have is each other, and a startling desire that could be their downfall.

perfect on paperPerfect on Paper by Sophie Gonzales
bi MC, Vietnamese-American lesbian best friend, queer side characters

Darcy Phillips:
• Can give you the solution to any of your relationship woes―for a fee.
• Uses her power for good. Most of the time.
• Really cannot stand Alexander Brougham.
• Has maybe not the best judgement when it comes to her best friend, Brooke…who is in love with someone else.
• Does not appreciate being blackmailed.
However, when Brougham catches her in the act of collecting letters from locker 89―out of which she’s been running her questionably legal, anonymous relationship advice service―that’s exactly what happens. In exchange for keeping her secret, Darcy begrudgingly agrees to become his personal dating coach―at a generous hourly rate, at least. The goal? To help him win his ex-girlfriend back.
Darcy has a good reason to keep her identity secret. If word gets out that she’s behind the locker, some things she’s not proud of will come to light, and there’s a good chance Brooke will never speak to her again.
Okay, so all she has to do is help an entitled, bratty, (annoyingly hot) guy win over a girl who’s already fallen for him once? What could go wrong?

a dark and hollow starA Dark and Hollow Star by Ashley Shuttleworth
bi MC, gay MC, lesbian MC, questioning MC

Choose your player.
The “ironborn” half-fae outcast of her royal fae family.
A tempestuous Fury, exiled to earth from the Immortal Realm and hellbent on revenge.
A dutiful fae prince, determined to earn his place on the throne.
The prince’s brooding guardian, burdened with a terrible secret.
For centuries, the Eight Courts of Folk have lived among us, concealed by magic and bound by law to do no harm to humans. This arrangement has long kept peace in the Courts—until a series of gruesome and ritualistic murders rocks the city of Toronto and threatens to expose faeries to the human world.
Four queer teens, each who hold a key piece of the truth behind these murders, must form a tenuous alliance in their effort to track down the mysterious killer behind these crimes. If they fail, they risk the destruction of the faerie and human worlds alike. If that’s not bad enough, there’s a war brewing between the Mortal and Immortal Realms, and one of these teens is destined to tip the scales. The only question is: which way?
Wish them luck. They’re going to need it.

the intimacy experimentThe Intimacy Experiment by Rosie Danan
The Roommate #2
bisexual Jewish MC, Jewish MC

Naomi Grant has built her life around going against the grain. After the sex-positive start-up she cofounded becomes an international sensation, she wants to extend her educational platform to live lecturing. Unfortunately, despite her long list of qualifications, higher ed won’t hire her.
Ethan Cohen has recently received two honors: LA Mag named him one of the city’s hottest bachelors and he became rabbi of his own synagogue. Taking a gamble in an effort to attract more millennials to the faith, the executive board hired Ethan because of his nontraditional background. Unfortunately, his shul is low on both funds and congregants. The board gives him three months to turn things around or else they’ll close the doors of his synagogue for good.
Naomi and Ethan join forces to host a buzzy seminar series on Modern Intimacy, the perfect solution to their problems–until they discover a new one–their growing attraction to each other. They’ve built the syllabus for love’s latest experiment, but neither of them expected they’d be the ones putting it to the test.

daughter of the burning cityDaughter of the Burning City by Amanda Foody
blind bi MC, demiromantic ace LI, lesbian side character

Sixteen-year-old Sorina has spent most of her life within the smoldering borders of the Gomorrah Festival. Yet even among the many unusual members of the traveling circus-city, Sorina stands apart as the only illusion-worker born in hundreds of years. This rare talent allows her to create illusions that others can see, feel and touch, with personalities all their own. Her creations are her family, and together they make up the cast of the Festival’s Freak Show.
But no matter how lifelike they may seem, her illusions are still just that—illusions, and not truly real. Or so she always believed…until one of them is murdered.
Desperate to protect her family, Sorina must track down the culprit and determine how they killed a person who doesn’t actually exist. Her search for answers leads her to the self-proclaimed gossip-worker Luca, and their investigation sends them through a haze of political turmoil and forbidden romance, and into the most sinister corners of the Festival. But as the killer continues murdering Sorina’s illusions one by one, she must unravel the horrifying truth before all of her loved ones disappear.

you should see me in a crownYou Should See Me in a Crown by Leah Johnson
Black bi MC, sapphic LI

Liz Lighty has always believed she’s too black, too poor, too awkward to shine in her small, rich, prom-obsessed midwestern town. But it’s okay – Liz has a plan that will get her out of Campbell, Indiana, forever: attend the uber-elite Pennington College, play in their world-famous orchestra, and become a doctor.
But when the financial aid she was counting on unexpectedly falls through, Liz’s plans come crashing down . . . until she’s reminded of her school’s scholarship for prom king and queen. There’s nothing Liz wants to do less than endure a gauntlet of social media trolls, catty competitors, and humiliating public events, but despite her devastating fear of the spotlight she’s willing to do whatever it takes to get to Pennington.
The only thing that makes it halfway bearable is the new girl in school, Mack. She’s smart, funny, and just as much of an outsider as Liz. But Mack is also in the running for queen. Will falling for the competition keep Liz from her dreams . . . or make them come true?

the fever kingThe Fever King by Victoria Lee
bi biracial Jewish-Latine MC, gay Jewish LI, queer side character

In the former United States, sixteen-year-old Noam Álvaro wakes up in a hospital bed, the sole survivor of the viral magic that killed his family and made him a technopath. His ability to control technology attracts the attention of the minister of defense and thrusts him into the magical elite of the nation of Carolinia.
The son of undocumented immigrants, Noam has spent his life fighting for the rights of refugees fleeing magical outbreaks—refugees Carolinia routinely deports with vicious efficiency. Sensing a way to make change, Noam accepts the minister’s offer to teach him the science behind his magic, secretly planning to use it against the government. But then he meets the minister’s son—cruel, dangerous, and achingly beautiful—and the way forward becomes less clear.
Caught between his purpose and his heart, Noam must decide who he can trust and how far he’s willing to go in pursuit of the greater good.

let's talk about loveLet’s Talk about Love by Claire Kann
Black biromantic asexual MC, Japanese-American LI

Alice had her whole summer planned. Nonstop all-you-can-eat buffets while marathoning her favorite TV shows (best friends totally included) with the smallest dash of adulting–working at the library to pay her share of the rent. The only thing missing from her perfect plan? Her girlfriend (who ended things when Alice confessed she’s asexual). Alice is done with dating–no thank you, do not pass go, stick a fork in her, done.
But then Alice meets Takumi and she can’t stop thinking about him or the rom com-grade romance feels she did not ask for (uncertainty, butterflies, and swoons, oh my!).
When her blissful summer takes an unexpected turn and Takumi becomes her knight with a shiny library-employee badge (close enough), Alice has to decide if she’s willing to risk their friendship for a love that might not be reciprocated–or understood.

hot dog girlHot Dog Girl by Jennifer Dugan
bi MC, lesbian LI

Elouise (Lou) Parker is determined to have the absolute best, most impossibly epic summer of her life. There are just a few things standing in her way:
* She’s landed a job at Magic Castle Playland . . . as a giant dancing hot dog.
* Her crush, the dreamy Diving Pirate Nick, already has a girlfriend, who is literally the Princess of the park. But Lou’s never liked anyone, guy or otherwise, this much before, and now she wants a chance at her own happily ever after.
* Her best friend, Seeley, the carousel operator, who’s always been up for anything, suddenly isn’t when it comes to Lou’s quest to set her up with the perfect girl or Lou’s scheme to get close to Nick.
* And it turns out that this will be their last summer at Magic Castle Playland–ever–unless she can find a way to stop it from closing.

red, white & royal blueRed, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston
bi MC, gay MC

First Son Alex Claremont-Diaz is the closest thing to a prince this side of the Atlantic. With his intrepid sister and the Veep’s genius granddaughter, they’re the White House Trio, a beautiful millennial marketing strategy for his mother, President Ellen Claremont. International socialite duties do have downsides—namely, when photos of a confrontation with his longtime nemesis Prince Henry at a royal wedding leak to the tabloids and threaten American/British relations. The plan for damage control: staging a fake friendship between the First Son and the Prince.
As President Claremont kicks off her reelection bid, Alex finds himself hurtling into a secret relationship with Henry that could derail the campaign and upend two nations. What is worth the sacrifice? How do you do all the good you can do? And, most importantly, how will history remember you?

radio silenceRadio Silence by Alice Oseman
biracial Black-English bi MC, demisexual side character, lesbian side character

Frances has been a study machine with one goal. Nothing will stand in her way; not friends, not a guilty secret – not even the person she is on the inside. Then Frances meets Aled, and for the first time she’s unafraid to be herself.
So when the fragile trust between them is broken, Frances is caught between who she was and who she longs to be. Now Frances knows that she has to confront her past. To confess why Carys disappeared…
Frances is going to need every bit of courage she has.

the gilded wolvesThe Gilded Wolves by Roshani Chokshi
bi Filipino-Spanish MC, gay side character

It’s 1889. The city is on the cusp of industry and power, and the Exposition Universelle has breathed new life into the streets and dredged up ancient secrets. Here, no one keeps tabs on dark truths better than treasure-hunter and wealthy hotelier Séverin Montagnet-Alarie. When the elite, ever-powerful Order of Babel coerces him to help them on a mission, Séverin is offered a treasure that he never imagined: his true inheritance.
To hunt down the ancient artifact the Order seeks, Séverin calls upon a band of unlikely experts: An engineer with a debt to pay. A historian banished from his home. A dancer with a sinister past. And a brother in arms if not blood.
Together, they will join Séverin as he explores the dark, glittering heart of Paris. What they find might change the course of history–but only if they can stay alive.

the priory of the orange treeThe Priory of the Orange Tree
bi MC, lesbian MC, gay MC, queer side characters

The House of Berethnet has ruled Inys for a thousand years. Still unwed, Queen Sabran the Ninth must conceive a daughter to protect her realm from destruction—but assassins are getting closer to her door.
Ead Duryan is an outsider at court. Though she has risen to the position of lady-in-waiting, she is loyal to a hidden society of mages. Ead keeps a watchful eye on Sabran, secretly protecting her with forbidden magic.
Across the dark sea, Tané has trained all her life to be a dragonrider, but is forced to make a choice that could see her life unravel.
Meanwhile, the divided East and West refuse to parley, and forces of chaos are rising from their sleep.

the devouring grayThe Devouring Gray by Christine Lynn Herman
several bi MCs and side characters

After the death of her sister, seventeen-year-old Violet Saunders finds herself dragged to Four Paths, New York. Violet may be a newcomer, but she soon learns her mother isn’t: They belong to one of the revered founding families of the town, where stone bells hang above every doorway and danger lurks in the depths of the woods.
Justin Hawthorne’s bloodline has protected Four Paths for generations from the Gray—a lifeless dimension that imprisons a brutal monster. After Justin fails to inherit his family’s powers, his mother is determined to keep this humiliation a secret. But Justin can’t let go of the future he was promised and the town he swore to protect.
Ever since Harper Carlisle lost her hand to an accident that left her stranded in the Gray for days, she has vowed revenge on the person who abandoned her: Justin Hawthorne. There are ripples of dissent in Four Paths, and Harper seizes an opportunity to take down the Hawthornes and change her destiny-to what extent, even she doesn’t yet know.
The Gray is growing stronger every day, and its victims are piling up. When Violet accidentally unleashes the monster, all three must band together with the other Founders to unearth the dark truths behind their families’ abilities—before the Gray devours them all.

That’s it from me! I hope you enjoyed this post!
Until next time,

  1. I love this so much. Thank you for writing about your experience so genuinely, this is such a wonderful post. <3 I love your recommendation as well! Perfect on Paper was EXCELLENT and Jen Wilde's books always make me so happy. I really want to read Lucky Girl, it sounds amazing!

    1. Thank you, Marie! <3 Perfect on Paper is one of my absolute favourite books, I loved it so much!! 🙂 And yes, Lucky Girl was really good even though it deals with some heavy topics. But I LOVE Jamie's books and I'd recommend them eternally 🙂

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